What To Do When You Are In An Abusive Relationship
If you are in an abusive relationship, and have decided to leave your abuser. Ask yourself, where do I go and what do I do?
The first thing you need to know when leaving your abuser, is that this is the most dangerous time. Statistics show that women who leave their abuser are at a 75% greater risk of being killed by their abuser than those who say.
To Be Safe, is of the utmost importance! Where do I go? Family and friends might be able to help you and your children but sometimes they are not able to help. It may be too dangerous for you to stay at someone’s home that your abuser knows. If you can afford a hotel, that will give you time to think and to make plans for you and your children. There are domestic violence shelters in most cities which can house you and your children for a limited number of days. Some not for profits have transitional housing that you might qualify to live in, also for a limited time but longer than a shelter.
I highly recommend that you get counseling from someone that understands domestic violence. You need someone that will support you, someone that will listen to you and will understand what you are going through. This person also needs to have information on services available to victims of domestic violence. Not every counselor understands the dynamics of domestic violence. Before selecting a counselor, do research on them to make sure they have experience in dealing with domestic violence counseling.
If you have time before you leave your abuser, you need to make a “Safety Plan.” Click on this link to our “Safety Plan.” Some of the items you need to gather to take with you are: birth certificates, medical papers, medications, school papers, marriage license, bank account numbers, credit cards, house and cars papers, and copies of insurance papers. Also, pack a bag you and your children, including clothes, shoes, a favorite toy, and toiletries. If possible, give your bags and copies of the items you gathered to a family member or friend.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord.